David Bowie
David Bowie (or Starman, or Ziggy Stardust, or the Thin White Duke, or the Man Who Fell to Earth) is a special agent provocateur or funky envoy messenger of messages from outer space sent to use the culturally-shaping forces of rock & roll in our recent era, in order to gently ease the peopleoid race into an acceptance of beings from outer space, man. The Bowie was first encountered by lost astronaut Major Tom as it began to drift alone in space like some kind of crazy-strung-out junkie man. This lost soul was to become the first bodily cocooon for the alien messages this entity needed to impart. He would return as an unrecognizable god, with a new British accent. Ziggy Stardust, or the glam rock god biological form serving as the mere Earth avatar for the omniscient extraterrestrial entity Star Man, knew that its first incarnation would destroy its host body in five years, but chose to transmit signal from Starman in order to promote to human youth a message of peace, unity, music, dancing, sexual promiscuity and gender fluid issues. The time is five years to go before the end of the earth. It has been announced that the world will end because of lack of natural resources. Ziggy is in a position where all the kids have access to things that they thought they wanted. The older people have lost all touch with reality and the kids are left on their own to plunder anything. Ziggy was in a rock-and-roll band and the kids no longer want rock-and-roll. There's no electricity to play it. Ziggy's adviser tells it to collect news and sing it, 'cause there is no news. So Ziggy does this and there is terrible news for all the young dudes (see also: Terrible Secret of Space). It's no hymn to the youth as people thought. It is completely the opposite. The end comes when the infinites arrive. They really are a black hole. Ziggy is advised in a dream by the infinites to write the coming of a Starman, so it writes 'Starman', which is the first news of hope that the people have heard. So they latch onto it immediately...The starmen that it is talking about are called the infinites, and they are black-hole jumpers. Ziggy has been talking about this amazing spaceman who will be coming down to save the earth. They arrive somewhere in Greenwich Village. They don't have a care in the world and are of no possible use to us. They just happened to stumble into our universe by black hole jumping. Their whole life is travelling from universe to universe. Ziggy starts to believe in all this itself and thinks itself a prophet of the future starmen. It takes itself up to the incredible spiritual heights and is kept alive by its disciples. When the infinites arrive, they take bits of Ziggy to make them real because in their original state they are anti-matter and cannot exist in our world. And they tear it to pieces on stage during its 'Rock 'n' roll suicide'. As soon as Ziggy dies the infinites take its elements and make themselves visible. Ziggy is like +52 Jesus. Despite not understanding or sympathizing with Earth people and culture in many ways, Bowie nonetheless fights agains the Bad Society Man, man, to prevent Big Brother and His forces of 1984, or, the 'Diamond Dogs' by rallying the punk forces of urban chaos, disenfranchised youth, and political unrest. Soon, it is able to call upon the dead, the ever circling skeletal family. It also battles and protects us from the Spiders from Mars (though it is unknown if there is life). Bowie (Starman) sends multiple incarnations of itself to Earth, which it thinks is particularly important for some reason (probably due to finding the gold phonograph record sent by the Voyager II space probe and dancing the cosmos). It is possible that it does this to many planets, seeding them with groovy ideas before moving on. Bowie starts using the advanced technology of its home planet to patent many inventions on Earth. This allows its rise to incredible wealth as the head of a technology-based conglomerate, World Enterprises Corporation, aided by leading patent attorney Professor Farnsworth. Secretly, this wealth is needed to construct its own space vehicle with the intention of shipping water back to its planet. Its music is also secretly encoded recordings with alien messages, which it hopes will be broadcast via radio to its dying home planet to say goodbye. It becomes more and more obsessed with learning about Earth culture, such as the occult, religion, psychedelic experiences, philosophy, romanticism, and the uncertainty of sexual conquest. As it continues to experiment with voodoo, dark occult magicks, kabbalah, and other forms of Earth sorcery, the feedback begins to interfere with Star Man, the original Bowie, and it is hard to determine which Bowie is the real Bowie and which Bowie is not the real Bowie. : "where all were minds in uni-thought, power weird by mystics taught. no pain, no joy, no power too great, colossal strength to grasp a fate, where sad-eyed mermen tossed in slumbers, nightmare dreams no mortal mind could hold, a man would tear his brother's flesh, a chance to die to turn to mold. far out in the red-sky, far out from the sad eyes. strange, mad celebration, so softly a supergod cries." At each subsequent attempt to integrate more slyly with human Earth society, Bowie begins to be seduced in by humanity's drugs, alcohol, and sex. It gets darker, more surreal than ever as the harshness of full pathos and emotion tear at its plastic alien soul. Despite being a space hero, the insect inferiority of our world and species to the cosmic and magical grandeur that it is sometimes makes it appear to us as villainous, as it is affiliated with several "evil " groups. In fact, it is not clear to we Earthbound mortals, but at some point, the entity known as David Bowie (believed by his fellow aliens to be dead), "sells" the world for an indisclosed sum. During the events of Showdown at Cremation Creek, the current Sovereign ('''the title given to the leader of The Guild of Calamitous Intent) is revealed to be a shapeshifter taking the image of '''David Bowie. Bowie shows up to the Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend's wedding with its minions in tow, only to be betrayed and almost murdered by Iggy Pop and Klaus Nomi, under the order of Phantom Limb. This shapeshifter is later revealed to be one of the creatures who helped the actual Bowie battle the Diamond Dogs. This imposter was preceded as Sovereign by Force Majeure, and took power upon Majeure's death. The hereditary Grand protector of the ORB is entitled to the position of Sovereign, leading to Dean Venture's very short possession of the title during a second attempted takeover by Phantom Limb. Dean immediately restored the title to the Sovereign. David Bowie itself was made king of the goblins when it conquered their Labyrinth and cowed them all into subservience with the power of its song, voodoo and crotch. : "You remind me of the babe." "What babe?" "The babe with the power." "What power?" "The power of voodoo." "Who do?" "You do." "Do what?" "You remind me of the babe." If aliens are considered Awesome by Earth standards, it most definitely is, and has many super powers to show for it; transmogrification, animal communication, crotch powers, goblin powers, cat people powers, vampire powers, hypnotism, long-distance station-to-station space communication via alien telepathy, firing bolts of powerful energy spheres from its hands and eyes, putting out fire with gasoline, healing plants with its glowing heart and finger, mullet rays, glittery sparkles and face paint, the power of voodoo, and nipple antennae. The true alien form of Bowie was almost outed by Fox Mulder, but it was saved at the final moments by its freaky deaky space ship. The mysterious and glamorous creature known as David Bowie was finally able to make contact with its home planet and peacefully returned home on January 10, 2016, never to grace the pebble-planet known as Earth ever again in its pathetic and undeserving history. Category:Aliens Category:Gods Category:Awesomes Category:Beings Category:Cosmic Beings Category:Morally Ambiguous Figures